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I don't mind if you tend to date fat girls, or really even if you get some specific pleasure from being with a fat woman -- but I don't need that to be the first thing you tell me about yourself. " It's announced as if it's supposed to reassure me that they aren't going to take one look at me naked and run, I think? Or maybe it's meant to suggest some kink; like to let me know that he wants to feed me cakes and watch me weigh myself? If you care more about my weight than I do, we're going to have a problem. When you tell me I'm not, what you are really saying is that despite my body size, I'm not all those horrible things you tend to associate with fatness.
This comes from guys who don't necessarily have a problem with my weight -- they just have a problem with fat people. " Or worse, "Oh you're so (beautiful, smart, sexy, whatever) for a fat girl…" all I hear is how much you hate fatness. "You're not the kind of lazy, stupid, disgusting, [insert sizeist insult here] slob who I expect fat people to be," is not a compliment.
A recent Archives of Sexual Behavior study found that 74% of young guys who’d ever taken an erectile dysfunction med had done so recreationally.
Whether or not fat hatred is malicious, it's still harmful.
Check your own issues with fatness before telling me to check mine.
Dudes tend to assume that I haven't dated a lot in my life -- or the opposite, that I'm always up for casual sex because I'm desperate for attention.
They often come into a relationship believing that my past partners have been abusive or unfaithful, or that my current partner isn't interested in sex and that's why we're poly.
I also enjoy boundaries and people who know what affirmative consent looks like.